Mental Christmas Carols! 2010
by Mentalgal
Summary: Here are some Mentalist versions of christmas carols!  Mentalize christmas!  There's Jisbon! And Rigspelt!  Merry Christmas! Please review and if you have any suggestions for christmas carols, please tell me!
1. Away in a Manger to Away in an Office

A/N: I got the idea to do a Christmas carol from angel-death-dealer doing ''twas the night before Christmas' and I just thought as a prezzie for all fanfiction id do a Christmas carol mentalist style!

Away in an office

No room for a bed

The handsome consultant

Laid down his sweet head

The poor concerned Lisbon

Looked down where he lay

The handsome consultant

That closed their last case

Wayne Rigsby is munching

Poor Patrick Jane wakes

But handsome consultant

No whining he makes

I love thee, consultant

Who's family died,

I wish he'd be happy

Lisbon thought inside

Be near me consultant

There's no other way,

When the rest of our team leaves

Lets talk through the day

He acts like they're children,

But still he does care

He may Patronize

But for Lisbon he's there.

**Did you like it? Please review (o: Merry Christmas Fan Fiction (o:**


	2. Rudolf to Patrick the suited conman

**A/N: Here's Rudolf!**

**Disclaimer: I own the lyrics and that's all. (o:**

You know, Patrick and Lisbon together are Jisbon,

Vanpelt and Rigsby together are Rigspelt,

Cho just sits there at last,

But do you know the CBI's past?

Patrick the suited con man, (con man)

Used to be a fake psychic, (Like Kristina!)

Then he went on Television, (Vision)

And acted like a total prick, (Like Kristina!)

He came home to his family (Family)

And to Patrick's great surprise (like a party)

Red John had come in his house (his house)

And ended his wife and child's lives, (Poor Patrick)

So after having a breakdown,

Patrick joined a team (C! B! I!)

Lisbon, Vanpelt Rigsby, Cho,

Let's catch Red John, here we go!

They then formed some nice relations, (ations)

Wayne and Grace a bit too nice (Wolf whistle)

Jane and Lisbon just keep flirting (flirting)

Cho just sits and rolls his eyes!

**Did you like it? Please Review! Merry Christmas!**


	3. Jingle bells to Rigsby smells!

**Jingle Bells! XD Merry Christmas! Enjoy!**

Jingle bells, Rigsby smells, Jane swallows his pride,

Oh what fun, it is to solve a triple homicide (hey!)

Jingle bells, Rigsby smells, Lisbon's at the scene,

Grace pulls up then Cho then Patrick in his Citroen. (Hey!)

Rigsby then arrives, the whole team is now here,

Looking round for clues, bodies everywhere,

Boss says "Tag and bag."

Patrick says, "Wayne you smell."

Rigsby says, "My shower's broken man so go to hell!

Oh!

Jingle bells, Rigsby smells, Lisbon scolded Jane,

The CBI's new nicknames are, smelly, nice, emotionless and a pain. And Boss!

Jingle bells, Rigsby smells, even Grace says so,

"Come on man seriously, there's a shower here ya know!"

**Please Review! Merry Christmas and happy holidays!**


	4. CBI will take you down town!

CBI is coming to town! (Sung to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town! Merry Christmas!

Ya better not stab, ya better not shoot,

Ya better not stuff a corpse into your boot,

CBI will take you, down town

They'll make an arrest,

They will not think twice,

They keep all in line,

Both naughty or nice

CBI will take you, down town.

They know when you are guilty

They know just what you think

They know if you've been hiding facts

And they'll send you to a shrink

So,

Ya better not stab, ya better not shoot,

Ya better not stuff a corpse in your boot,

Or CBI will take you down town!

**Merry Christmas! Read, Sing and Please Review!**


	5. Frosty the snowman 2 kimball the deadpan

Frosty the Snowman to Kimball the Deadpan

**Please Read and Review!**

Kimball the deadpan

Was a deadpan straight-faced soul

With a glock 9 mil and a big gold badge

And two eyes as black as coal.

Kimball the deadpan,

Is a real tough guy they say

He acts quite tough

But it's just a bluff

And he's nice in his own way.

Although he is real muscly,

And he'll knock crims to the ground

When work is over he's just like

A teddy that's soft and round

Oh! Kimball the deadpan

Acts quite unemotionally,

And the Fanatics say

His lines make your day

His smile is rare to see

Kimball the dead-pan

Will dare not hesitate

So he yells, "Hey! Police!

Get on your knees!

Now I'll interrogate!"

Down to the office,

With his glock nine mil in hand

Running here and there for the millionaire

That murdered his best friend.

He called out as he caught the guy

"Never kill a cop!"

And he only paused a moment when,

He heard poor Vanpelt drop

Kimball the snowman

Let Rigsby to her side,

Saying you ok?

She replied, yep hey

The vest worked it's not inside!

**Merry Christmas! XD**


	6. Winter Wonderland Jisbon that's the plan

Winter Wonderland to Jisbon that's the plan

**I have to say Im really proud of this one, I think it's my best one yet! What do you guys think? Please Review!**

**Also thankyou to funnygirlOoObroadwaybaby for suggesting I do Winter Wonderland! Enjoy!**

Love bells ring, Lisbon's listening,

Patrick Jane's, eyes are glistening

A beautiful sight

They're happy tonite,

Soon there will be jisbon, that's the plan.

Gone away, is the psychic,

In a way, Lisbon likes it,

The time may be long,

Before those memories are gone,

But soon there will be Jisbon that's the plan.

After every case there will be no man,

That is guilty coz they'll take him down

She'll say: You're arrested,

They'll say: Nice plan,

We'll interview the snob

When you're down town

Later on, Jane's inspired,

He almost, got Lisbon fired,

But he's not afraid,

Bad memories will fade,

Soon there will be Jisbon that's the Plan

After every case there will be no cop

Apart from Cho that'll be wearing a frown

They'll have lots of fun, consultant and cop,

If there comes a crim they'll knock 'em down

Ain't it strange, ain't it thrilling,

Though their job, involves gross killings,

They fight then they play, they flirt every day,

Soon there will be Jisbon that's the plan.

Merry Christmas! Please review!

**(and if you have any suggestions please mention them in reviews or send me a message! XD)**


	7. Silent Night to Violent Night

Silent Night – Violent night

**Thanks for all the reviews and suggestions, and thanks to Space-Case7029 for suggesting I mentalify Silent night!**

Violent night, dangerous night,

Grazed my palm, its all right,

Solving crimes is real scary and wild,

It doesn't help when Jane acts like a child.

Is it too much to ask for some peace?

Too much to ask for some peace.

Violent night, dangerous night!

Criminals quake, at our sight,

"CBI" we shout "Put your hands up"

Patrick Jane is not even a cop.

Will, he never learn?

Will Jane ever learn.

Violent night, dangerous night,

Red John's smiles, reflect the light,

Though I long to feel Jane's embrace,

I don't want to end up like Rigsby and Grace,

Hightower will be cruel,

Hightower's cruel to us all.

**Thanks! Merry Christmas! And feel free to put your suggestions for carols for me to mentalify in your reviews!**


	8. Jane May Be Painful Com all ye faithful

**This one,**

**O Come all ye Faithful to O Jane may be painful**

**Is dedicated to my best friend, who lives here in Australia.**

**She's going to America soon for a massive holiday and this is my goodbye and Merry Christmas to her, as she suggested I Mentalify O Come all ye Faithful.**

**Thanx and Please enjoy (and review xD)**

O Jane may be painful,

Cheerful and irritant,

O yes he, O yes he might be Irksome.

But just look at him,

The voice inside your head yells:

Oh come let us Adore him,

O come let us Adore him

O come let us adore him,

Consultant of Law.

O sure, he annoys us,

His job is irritation,

Sure he may be irksome but hes Patrick Jane,

I can't wait for Patrick Jane to arrive here,

So come on let's adore him,

O come let us adore him,

O come let us adore him

Consultant of Law.

You Jane! Come, we call thee,

Brightened up, this murder morning,

O Patrick! For evermore be Thy name adored,

Word of Lisbon, in her mind she's hearing:

O come, let us adore him,

O come let us adore him,

O come let us adore him,

Consultant of Law.

**Thankyou and Merry Christmas! (o:**

**Please Review and suggest!**


	9. Deck the halls to Paint the walls

**Many thanks for all your reviews!**

**ByStarlight999 and Jisbon4ever suggested Deck the halls! So here we go!**

Paint the walls with red john smileys,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha.

Patrick Jane regards him highly,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha,

He killed Jane's entire family,

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha, ha haa haa,

Red John cases make Jane more manly

Ha dee ha dee ha dee ha ha ha.

See the shining blood before us,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha,

Strike the wall and join the chorus,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha,

No other case to Red John measures,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha,

Red John's taking all Jane's treasures,

Wife and Child then Fye, is Lisbon next?

Jane and Lisbon, getting closer,

Ha dee ha dee ha, dee ha ha ha,

Red John is such, a freakin' loser

Ha dee ha dee ha, dee ha ha ha.

Red John makes Jisbon unravel,

Mwa ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha,

Red John always skips the gavel*

AH ah ah ah ah, ah ahhhhh AHHH…

!

By the way, Gavel is the hammer they use in court, so skipping it means, they don't catch him so he doesn't go to court!

**Let me know what you think!**

**Please review and suggest!**


	10. Last Xmas to Last Closed Case

Last Christmas – Last closed-case

**Thanks to ****Fallon the Coyote Pirate for suggesting Last Christmas!**

**Hope you guys like it!**

**This is a mix between Jane and Vanpelt's POV (o:**

Last closed case, I thought you had learnt,

But the very next day, you slept with Mashburn,

This case, to catch your embrace,

I'll make sure I act real special.

Last closed case, I thought you loved me,

But the very next day, you loved Tiffany,

This case, to catch your embrace,

I'll make sure I act real special

Curled hair, and green eyes,

Hiding jealously don't work, it was worth a try,

Tell me Lisbon, do you recognise me,

You've been drinking, it doesn't surprise me.

(Closed case pizza) I just called the pizza place

Pizza with Pineapple, Cho I know resents it

I close cases like a fiend,

But if you leave I wont be closing cases again.

(CHORUS)

(Ooo Ooo Baby)

Short hair, bluey-brown eyes

Sure yes I dumped you but that's no surprise

Dear God I love Wayne but I just cant rely on,

Hightowers on our backs and I simply must cry on.

(CHORUS)

A face on a white-wall, no room for his heart,

(Gave you my part)

A detective undercover but our hope was torn apart

Next Case

I'll make sure I act real, I'll make sure I aact real special.

SPECIAL

Act real

Act real

Ill make sure I act real, I'll make sure I act real special

I know you want your way,

Sure you're the boss, but hey!

I thought I acted real special.

Gave you my heart,

I'll make sure I act real, make sure I act real,

Last closed case, I thought you loved me…

You love tiffany…

I'll make sure I act real, ill make sure I act real..

**Thanks! Merry Christmas! Please! More reviews More suggestions! It's almost Christmas!**


	11. Hightower's called a meeting again

I am REALLY sorry * chokes back tears (not joking) * but I just went on a massive holiday and on that holiday I wrote so many mental carols and half a crossover fanfic, on my ipod, and then when I got back, I synced my ipod with my computer, and it deleted them all. So I am SO sorry for the late update and I am SO sorry I couldn't get them all to you guys by xmas.

**Here is Rocking around the Christmas Tree – Hightower's called a meeting again**

Hightower's called a meeting again

At around eleven o'clock,

It might be about poor Jane's revenge

Or Lisbon's misuse of her 9 mil glock.

You will get quite a mental feeling

When you hear red John singing

"Paint the walls with red john smilies"

Hightower's called a meeting again

Have a mental kind of day

Everyone's acting mentally

In a knew old season way.

Hightower's called a meeting again

Let the office phonelines ring

Later we'll probably catch some guy

And do some investigating

You will get quite a mental feeling

When you hear red John singing

"Paint the walls with red john smilies"

Hightower's called a meeting again

Have a mental kind of day

Everyone's acting mentally

In a knew old season way.

I'm so sorry and I hope I can get the others to you all by Christmas – it was all going so perfectly! Im sooo sorry!

**By the way, many thanks to ****Crystal (Simonisthecuttestmentalist) for suggesting I do this one!**

**Merry Christmas!**


	12. I wish they'd get a new case everyday

I am so so so so sorry! As I explained in the other one, I accidentally deleted all of the originals of these, so I've written them from memory! Hope you like them, and yes I still just own the lyrics!

**I wish it could be Christmas everyday – I wish they'd get a new case everyday, reccomended by** **Fallon the Coyote Pirate!**

When the AG brings a case

He might just lose the trace

he's put a lot of work on somebody's plate

Lisbon tumbles out of bed,

Lifts her phone up to her head,

She's right out the door,

She knows that there's a big case that's on it's way

(chorus)

Well I wish they'd get a new case every day

When the phones start to ring and the team is on their way

Oh I wish they'd get a new case everyday,

So let the phones ring out for cases!

When your blowing off a mark,

At the circus in the park,

Or taking money from a sick girl away,

Officers of law appear,

What happens then isn't clear,

Jane is a natural liar

And his voice simply knocks Lisbon away.

(chorus)

Well I wish they'd get a new case every day

When the phones start to ring and the team is on their way

Oh I wish they'd get a new case everyday,

So let the phones ring out for cases!

When the AG brings a case (AG brings a case)

Well he just might lose the race, (just might lose the race)

He's put a lot of work on somebody's plate

So if the team is on their way, (team is on their way)

Along the great Highway, (along the great highway)

They'll soon see Jane, in his blue car on the road,

Then they may decide to say,

(chorus)

Well I wish they'd get a new case every day

When the phones start to ring and the team is on their way

Oh I wish they'd get a new case everyday,

So let the phones ring out for cases!

**Merry Christmas and please review!**


	13. I want a bit of Jisbonness for xmas

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas – I want a bit of jisbonness for Christmas

**I'd like to thank Grace Van pelt fan for the carol suggestion (o:**

**Please review and make suggestions!**

I want a bit of Jisbonness for Christmas,

Only bits of Jisboness will do,

Don't want rigspelt, no evil ploy,

I want a bit of Jisbonness to watch, see and enjoy,

I want a bit of Jisbonness for Christmas,

I don't think Mr. Bruno will mind Do you?

He wont have to change much, just an episode or two,

Just show them in an episode, it's the easy thing to do.

I can see us now on Thursday evening, all my friends and me,

Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes

To see some Jane and Lisbon on TV

I want a bit of Jisbonness for Christmas,

Only bits of Jisbonness will do,

No Hightowers, No philosophers

I only like bits of Jisbonyness

And hopefully they like me too!

Mum says Jisbon is stupid slop, but then

I kindly explain how I'm a Jisbonarian

There's lots of time for them in 40 minute shows,

I know there will be Jisbon soon I hope that Bruno knows

I can see us now on Thursday evening, all my friends and me,

Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes

To see some Jane and Lisbon on TV

I want a bit of Jisbonness for Christmas,

Only bits of Jisbonness will do,

No Hightowers, No philosophers

I only like bits of Jisbonyness

And hopefully they like me too!

Sorry if that was bad – I have never heard that christmass carol before! LOL

**Please Review and Suggest (o:**


	14. Santa Baby  Lisbon Maybe

Santa Baby

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me

I've been an awful good girl

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue

I'll wait up for you dear

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed

Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed

Next year I could be oh so good

If you'd check off my Christmas list

Boo doo bee doo

Santa honey, I wanna yacht and really that's

Not a lot

I've been an angel all year

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed

To a platinum mine

Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, I'm filling my stocking with a duplex, and checks

Sign your 'X' on the line

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree

With some decorations bought at Tiffany's

I really do believe in you

Let's see if you believe in me

Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring

I don't mean a phone

Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight

Hurry down the chimney tonight


	15. Merry Christmas Everybody!

Merry Christmas everyone! XD

**Sorry to say but this is the last mental Christmas Carol I shall be writing for you all. It's Christmas Eve!**

**So I'd like to thank you, and van pelt – oops sorry, going into a quote there! LOL**

**I'd like to thank all of you for reading, reviewing and suggesting for this story and I hope you have enjoyed them all! (o:**

**This is We wish you a merry Christmas to We wish you a Mental Christmas**

We wish you a mental Christmas

We wish you a mental Christmas

We wish you a mental Christmas

And a mental new year

We'll miss old Jisbon

What a year it has been

We wish you a mental Christmas

And a mental new year

Oh bring us some season 3 eps

Please bring us some season 3 eps

Come bring us some season 3 eps

And bring them right here

We want some Grigsby too,

But that's season two!

Please bring us some season 3 eps

And bring them right here

We wont stop until we get some

We wont stop until we get some

We wont stop until we get some

New eps? BRING THEM HERE! XD

We wish you a Mental Christmas

We wish you a Mental Christmas

We wish you a Mental Christmas

And a….

!

**Merry Christmas to all of you and have a wonderful new year.**

**Signing off,**

**Mentalgal (o:**


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